Callie Gesels

Ek het toevallig op hierdie artikel afgekom. Dis kom van Gareth Cliff se blog af. Ek het maar net gedink ek noem dit hier, omdat meeste van my vriende ongetroud is en dat ek deesdae agter kom dat dit meeste van hulle nogal pla. Ek dink dit het tedoen met die feit dat ons matriek reunie het hierdie jaar en dit n mens ongemaklik laat voel om te dink dat jy dalk mense gaan sien wat getroud is en dink "ek het altyd gedink ek gaan voor daai personn trou". Anyway, ek is gelukkig met my eie geselskap, is jy?

I broke up with the latest girlfriend a few days ago. Normally I wouldn't tell you this, because I know you don't care about my relationships and even if you do, it's probably none of your business. the reason I bring it up is that it got me thinking - and maybe you're thinking the same about your relationship.
I have had some really good relationships - I'm sure you have too - some have been better than others, obviously... My philosophy about relationships is: If you can't be happy in your own company, you'll never e happy with someone else. In other words, no relationship will fill the gap if you can't fill it yourself.
This may surprise some people, but not all couples are together because they want to be. Some people are together because they're scared to be alone or because they don't think they'll be able to find someone else. Some are together for the children, or to please their parents. Some people are together because of the money, or because it's just a convenient legal or business arrangement. Whatever their reasons, I'd rather be single until I can find a really good reason.
In many ways, I'm lucky - I don't have a lot of time; I have a great family and wonderful friends and I'm not very needy, even within a relationship - but more than any of those, I really love being on my own. I don't get lonely - and so, I don't need anyone right now. A lot of people don't get that: "He must be so lonely", "Maybe he has commitment issues...", "Maybe he's gay!" and even "poor guy, can't find anyone... shame.". The fact is that I like me. I'm happy with me. Not all of us need someone around us all the time to validate us. I would never tell someone who's happily involved in a relationship that I thought they needed to get out, so why do some of them think they need to tell me to get in?
Here's another thing that might surprise you: For some of us, our relationships are not the most important things about us. For many guys and girls their careers, friends, pets, hobbies, holidays, books and even food can supercede relationships in priority. That's not sad unless they're sad people.
This is the year 2009, things are changing. Relationships are changing too. Some people have a relationship that doesn't fit into the usual boxes - a relationship with themselves, the internet, their dogs. We have to be open-minded and less Victorian about things. Our President has three wives and a geeky friend of mine just met his dream girl on a dating website. Neither of those is pathetic - they're as good as your relationship, or the lack of one.